yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Houston, we have a squirter
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
