i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
