Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
