shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
well you can't waste a boner
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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