Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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