he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
