Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
