Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
