It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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