you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize