What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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