? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
