the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just tell him i said nine months
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize