I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
