Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
