In the future we'll all be gay
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We have started to decorate penises.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
