I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize