3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize