i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize