my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
