he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He uses pillows to masturbate.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
