I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
