I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
