How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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