very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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