And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
