apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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