Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
