What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
