Are we in a gay sports bar?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
