dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
