It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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