well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
