hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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