I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
