Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
