Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
