I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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