A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize