her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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