If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
please don't ironically join a cult
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