i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
