I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
