called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
