a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
