watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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