well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Damn victory sex feels great
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize