if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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