I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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