THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
