I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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