My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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