areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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