Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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