i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
