just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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