Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
