At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
